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Women
A Chemical Analysis
01-12-1998

Element:
Woman

Symbol:
Wo

Discoverer:
Adam

Atomic Mass:
Accepted as 118lbs, known to vary from 110 to 550lbs

Occurrence:
Copious quantities throughout the World

Physical properties:
'-Surface usually covered with a painted field and variety of esters.
'-Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
'-Melts when given special treatment.
'-Bitter if incorrectly used.
'-Found in states varying from virgin metal to common ore.
'-Yields to pressure applied at correct points.

Chemical properties:
'-Has a genuine affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.
'-Absorbs great quantities of attention.
'-Volatile, may explode without warning for no apparent reason.
'-Insoluble in water, but activity greatly increased with alcohol.

Most common uses:
'-Primarily ornamental, especially in sports car.
'-Found to be a great aid to relaxation.

Tests:
'-Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in its natural state.
'-Turns green when placed next to a fresher specimen.

Hazards:
'-Hard to retain when left in inexperienced hands.
'-Illegal (not to mention deadly) to possess more than one at a time.



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