In the beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. And darkness was upon the face of the deep;
this was due to a strike at the local power station.
And God said, Let there be light; and there was light,
but Eastern Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
And God saw the light and it was good;
He saw the quarterly bill and that was not good.
And God called the light Day and the darkness He called Night,
and so passed his Brevet.
And God said, Let there be a firmament and God called the firmament heaven
(24/7, even during the holidays).
And God said, Let the waters be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear,
and in London it went on the market at six hundred pounds a square centimetre.
And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, and the earth brought forth grass
and the Rastafarians smoked it.
And God said, Let there be lights in heaven to give light to the earth, and it was so,
except over England where there was heavy cloud and snow on high ground.
And God said, Let the seas bring forth that that hath life,
flooding the market with fish fingers, fishburgers and grade-three salmon.
And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the sea,
and let fowl multiply on earth where Prince Charles, Prince Philip and French Senators would shoot them.
And God said, Let the earth bring forth cattle and creeping things,
and there came cows, and the notion of bureaucracy.