1, Women love to shop. It is the one area of the World where they feel like they're actually in control.
2, Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale in fair game.
3, Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand."
4, Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
5, Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
6, Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
7, Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfils the emotional need.
8, Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.
9, Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.
10, Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.
11, Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.
12, Women never understand why men have toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an "on/off' switch.
13, Women think all beer is the same.
14, Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. When a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rainforest.
15, Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.
16, If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.
17, Women brush their hair before going to bed.
18, Women are paid less than men, except for one field: modelling.
19, The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
20, Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.
21, The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, "Oh-my-god, that's another man wearing a black tux, get me outta here!"
22, Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.
23, Women will make three left-hand turns to avoid making one right-hand turn.
24, "Oh, nothing" has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.
25, Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they're heading.
26, All Women are overweight by definition; don't argue with them about it. Women all have 5 pounds to lose.
27, If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did you do?"
28, If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up.
29, Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they "left the seat up" instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.
30, Women can get out of speeding by pouting. This will get a man arrested.